Friday 18 May 2012

Hell is Other People (And Bagpipes)

Some of you may recall that the very first post in this blog presented the Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch.  I now present for your viewing delight (if you are a bit demented) its companion painting, HELL.
You see, after all that nude frolicking about, making out with mermaids and getting high on giant raspberries, the karmic price must be paid.  And unlike the typical modern vision of hell with its boring old fire and brimstone, Bosch had a vision of the punishment realms to rival his view of what fun in the world was like.

We'll start with someone who is not being brutally mutilated.
A nunpig is trying to get intimate with a rather uncomfortable-looking man, while a helmeted creature that appears to be part man, part bird, part frog, and part badger offers him a small pot.  Apparently the Manbirodger went through some difficultly to bring him this pot, as it has been shot in the leg and has a dismembered foot dangling from its helmet.  Maybe it contains a rare aphrodisiac to make the experience with the nunpig more pleasant.

I assume this guy is being punished for gambling--besides the die on the impaled hand, there are other cards and games scattered around.  But what I want to know is....why does the mouse-creature strangling him have a spoon sticking out of its ankle?

Hell's choir evidently ran out of paper, so they started printing music on inmates' naked bottoms.  The music stand is, of course, a giant Lute-Harp of Death that crushes in place the torso accompanying the bottom.  Also apparently in hell, demonic conductors use their massive beaded tongues instead of batons.  I like to think the dude gesturing at the music is trying to point out some kind of error in the notation.

This is a rabbit. With a gun.  Despite the odd angle, it appears the body he is holding upside-down has an exploding stomach.

In hell, ears pierce YOU.

"Doctor...did you mess up the coordinates on the TARDIS again...?"

Hell's Water Sports Club.  I particularly like the Mutant Platypus Ice Skating Archery Division.

Ok.  So.  A giant bird with pots on its head and feet is devouring someone with crows flying out of his anus, while defecating fully grown people it presumably already consumed.  The expelled bodies fall into a pit (already full of bodies) while vomit and coins rain down on them.  I don't know what this is supposed to punish.  Did the eaten man bake four and twenty blackbirds into a pie?

Also there is a green creature with tree-branch legs and a porthole for a bottom, with someone inside watching a naked lady be violated by a man-donkey.

Now for the centerpiece.  The giant hollow man-tree with pink bagpipes on his head.  I guess the bagpipes WOULD be the instrument of choice in hell.  Really the man-tree looks quite placid in the middle of all this.  Maybe this is what the devil is really like, watching people stabbed and devoured and listening to a bad rendition of Scotland the Brave on endless loop, wearing a Mona Lisa smile.

He also has this adorable flag on his back.

Hell: Claimed in the name of the Pink Bagpipe Demon Tribe!

22 comments:

  1. I love this post so much that words cannot do it justice! Manbirodger - brilliant! Your description of the devil - made me laugh. :) Also, I think that maybe the "coins" accompanying the vomit into the pit might be poo... they seem to be coming out of a bum...

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    1. I didn't get around to replying to this the first time around, but thank you! Those things may indeed be poo. Although I like to think that in hell you crap money, but have nothing to spend it on.

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  2. this was very interesting... & in an od way.. I really enjoyed the photo.. hmm, go figure. :)

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    1. These paintings can be a lot of fun if you're in the right mindset! I just worry about the mind of the man who painted it...

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  3. Neat picture. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the corner, having nightmares.

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    1. For the record, Manbirodgers seem to like to hang out in corners.

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  4. This painting is chock full of awesome...but your commentary makes it 1000 time better!

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  5. This is so disturbing, yet somehow I am laughing. It's either laugh or cry, right? I think the scene with the bird eating the man with birds flying out his butt is my favorite part. Thanks for linking up!

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    1. I think both laughing and crying are appropriate responses here. The bird and man scene is pretty excellent--I guess what goes in must come out...

      Thanks for hosting the link-up!

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  6. Wow - I have an artist friend that could probably relate to that picture. Loved your interpretation!

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    1. Thanks very much! Hopefully (s)he won't relate TOO directly...this is one instance where I really hope art does not imitate life.

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  7. I really wish I still smoked pot.

    But after seeing this, I might resume. :)

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    1. If that stokes your artistic appreciation! I worry it might inspire some paranoia about death by bunny rabbit, though.

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  8. I really liked your commentary so much more than the painting. I really wonder what cocktail of prescription pills he was on.

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    1. Thanks! I think eating and drinking off lead flatware may have had something to do with it....

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  9. Finally, someone who can explain art to me. It all makes sense now.
    sorta.
    m'kay - not really.

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    1. The meaning of art is in the mind of the beholder. Although I suspect the meaning to this one is trapped in the mind of a very disturbed dead Flemish painter.

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  10. Whoa. You can't "unsee" stuff, can you? I guess subtlety is not strictly necessary when it comes to social commentary... Hilarious post!

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    1. Thanks! I have been trying for years to unsee things, but sadly have not yet perfected the skill.

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  11. What the HELL!?

    I'm going to have to spend hours looking at this. It's completely bizarre and hysterical.

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    1. Don't let it suck you in! Its hypnotic powers of weirdo are great.

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