Thursday, 2 August 2012

Dickish Political Campaign Ad, Medieval Style (NSFW)

I mean that literally, so if you are squeamish about drawings of genitalia, you should probably leave.

Campaign ads sometimes try to portray the horror of what life will be like under the terrible reign of the opponent.  This election in the US there was Obamaville; in the 90s, the UK had New Labour, New Danger.  Flash back several hundred years in Italy, and we can see that politically freaking out the populace through images of a terrifying future was, if anything, more bizarre and hardcore.

Behold, the Penis Tree.

This damaged 13th century mural in Massa Marittima depicts ladies hanging out under a fruit-bearing tree.  The fruit is all rather firm, plump, and ripe for the picking. 
It’s medieval artwork, therefore must be classy.

Two women battle over one that must be particularly delectable, trying to rip each other’s hair out. 
Surely they could just split it and share?

And finally, this demure lady stands there beatifically with one protruding behind her, which I am sure is being held there by an open backpack and is in no way being utilized in a suggestive manner.
Medieval dresses had large, sideways back pockets.

Now what, you may ask, does this have to do with politics?  Well, apparently scholarly opinion is that this was all a very visible subversive political message.   I guess the message is: if you support the other faction, dildos will start growing on trees and men will become irrelevant.

Imagine if modern politicians embraced this method of striking a chord with voters!  Forget warning about diminishing freedoms or the state of the economy.  “If you vote for the Y party, roasted testicles will become the national dish!”  “If you vote for Candidate X, vaginas will spring forth from the earth and devour all males!” 

It would probably be at least as informative as current campaign ads, anyway.


  1. So... a dong tree. Hmm. Yeah, I don't get it. Are we CERTAIN this has some sort of political message behind it? I mean, at the bottom, does it say, "I'm Bob De'Medici and I approve this message."

    1. Well, it's in bad condition, so it's possible there was a little message approval stamp in the corner! The other thing some people argue is that it's a fertility symbol, but somehow two women scratching each other's eyes out over a disembodied dong doesn't really scream "fertility" to me.