Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Hot Saint Temptation Action

Hello again.  My apologies for the long delay between posts, but I am back with another edition of "16th Century Drug Abusers with Paintbrushes."

Pieter Huys' "The Temptation of St. Anthony," at first glance, appears to be an insane, rambling painting.  Upon closer inspection, one discovers it is much weirder than that.  I would attribute it to booze (pictured on a pedestal to the far right), but that alone cannot possibly account for all of the following.  Can you tell that Pieter liked Hieronymus Bosch?

Skipping over the hunchback nun serving as an owl perch, let the temptations begin with...

A nude lady bearing sausages.  What could be more enticing?  Other than the fact that the sausages are still attached to a cow head.  I guess they are all-beef sausages.  Also, the nude lady appears to be covered with gills from the waist down.  Her headdress reminds me a bit of a cross between a wimple and a manta ray.

If the sausages are not enough of a feast for you, there is always the second course...

Fresh baby on a platter!  So tasty and tender, and served up by the midget offspring of the Jolly Green Giant.

But what sensuous meal would be complete without some music?

Fortunately, the dinner party brought along a giant squirrel with bagpipes to serenade the saint over dinner.  It might help him romance the naked fish lady, too.

Some people just can't wait for the food to be prepared, though.

Here we have an elderly manchild devouring one of his legs, in a position that is an anatomic miracle.  He doesn't seem terribly bothered by the fact he is gnawing his own leg off.  The angry sea-badger behind him seems much more disturbed.

St. Anthony isn't the only one with the potential to get some action at this feast, though.  Here a giant sea monkey flashes the camera, while a very buxom (cat?  wolf?)-lady gets thoroughly fondled by an unidentified creature.  Possibly a kappa.

Other notable features include this cart pulled by people attempting to put their heads up their behinds...

...and because what desert temptation would be complete without it, a sky-joust mounted on flying fish.

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