Friday 30 November 2012

Military History: A Child's Guide


This week we have something a little different.  In the Lafayette College Libraries’ East Asian digital collection, there are images from a set of 48 “Japanese History Study Cards” from 1935.  Aiming to “make entrance examination preparation truly fun,” it was supposed to teach elementary school children phrases about Japanese national history.  Of course, Japan was gearing up for Super Fun War Times, so all the cards are related to “soldiering and martial values.”  And thus you get some bizarre blending of children’s drawings and implied brutality.

Some of my favorites:

"The bomb-dropping flying corps."


See?  Dropping bombs is a friendly activity.  The little green pellets of friendship rain down from a happy little bluebird.  Well, maybe happy is the wrong word.  Those eyes kind of suggest “mind control technology.”

"The Yell that Accompanies a Bayonet Thrust."


You should always keep your mouth wide open while bayoneting someone, the better to catch the spray of blood and gore and consume your enemy’s power.

"Octopus-shaped gas mask"


Poison gas attacks are adorable.

"In the blink of an eye, it takes only a single blow."


What is this soldier striking down in a single blow?  Is it a beaver?  A giant squirrel?  I did not realize these things were major national security threats in Japan.

"Heave-Ho! The artillery squad pushes the gun carriage."


A naked baby leads a rabbit, a masked monkey and a bear in a cannon charge.  Note that both the rabbit and the monkey are more clothed than the commanding baby.  I am not sure that promoting infants to commanding positions is a wise tactical strategy, but then giving a cannon to a bear is also questionable.

"The Robotic Soldier Works Splendidly."


Holy crap, Japan had robot soldiers in WWII?  And they were evil robot soldiers, from the look of things.  How did they not win?  Also, I suppose those are supposed to be bullets hitting it, but they look kind of like angry cotton spiders. 

I must say that I feel deprived, not having had such educational cards as a child.  You can see the full collection here. 

26 comments:

  1. The Japanese method of dealing with gas attacks seems to be chopping off the soldier's head and replacing it with a tombstone. I suppose that might save the bother of burying the fellow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess it's quicker than death by gas, too. Although preparing the tombstone must take some time.

      Delete
  2. You had me at the beaver/giant squirrel, but combined with both naked babies and killer robots... You are by far the best sarcastic art review blog out there!

    Thank you for the smiles I desperately needed today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks very much! Of course, with the naked baby in a position of command, it probably has control over the killer robot, which is perhaps even more terrifying...

      I strive to present the cutting edge in bizarre old pictures out of context. I'm glad it brings some smiles!

      Delete
  3. Quite frankly, any nation that thinks raw fish is a treat to eat and that elementary school brats should be taught the finer points of war has got to have suspect foundations. How come the tin headgear looks so, well, so ... Bavarian?

    In my family we were never taught the bayonet charge until we were on solid foods and had to compete at table with the rest of the family and the hangers-on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be fair, if modern-day youngsters were taught military strategy and how to deal with tactical murder, teen movies might be a lot more entertaining.

      Delete
    2. Sir Owl. Bavarian! The Pickelhaube was most definitely Prussian.

      I quite like raw fish, by the way.

      Interesting point Minheer Ninja makes. Perhaps the MOD should bin all their sophisticated communications and switch to Twitter instead. It would certainly cut down on mobilization times and costs.

      Delete
  4. I love these. That soldier that cut down the beaver-squirrel looks really unsure of himself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, we can't see the creature's face--it might have 3-foot long poisonous fangs.

      Also, I just noticed some of your comments have been going to the spam folder--sorry about that. I caught it this time, and will be on the lookout in the future!

      Delete
  5. I feel like a mouthful of blood and gore is more likely to give you hepatitis than their power....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose it depends how you are defining your enemy's "power"...

      Delete
  6. There is something incredibly creepy about a cupie doll leading a battle!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't argue with that. But in that sense it might be an effective strategy for unnerving the other side!

      Delete
  7. Let's be real. The fourt pictures is a collection of dick jokes that would make the late great George Carlin proud.

    I just found this place. It's hilarious. I'll be back with snacks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the best children's books are thinly veiled sexual references. I mean, Green Eggs and Ham? Come on.

      I'm glad you found me! I recommend popcorn and Raisinets.

      Delete
  8. This is amazing and great and beautiful and weird and disturbing and uniquely awesome. But highly irresponsible of you. I mean, don't legions of children read this blog? If I were younger, I'd be itching to wage war on something right now. Probably gigantic squirrel/beaver things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As an educational blog, it is assigned reading for many school-age children. However, I hope that this piece has served more as a warning to them about the dangers of going near weaponry, such as the increased likelihood of encountering bears, giant squirrels, and other dangerous beasts.

      Delete
  9. Joking aside, I arrived in Angola eighteen years ago and four years later, I had a son. Well, I didn't, my wife did. Four years after that he went to school so I had to go to the Ministry of Education's official outlet and buy his official books one of which was a rather thin Atlas of the world. South Africa was shown in grey and marked as 'Territory Illegally Occupied by Racists', and all references to space travel (there were three pages dedicated to the solar system) confined themselves to sputniks, Gagarin and Soyuz rockets, no mention of a moon landing programme succesfully concluded by imperialist capitalist warmongers led by an ex Nazi.

    The history books were brilliant reading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. History books are often amazingly entertaining for all the wrong reasons! I like the 'Territory Illegally Occupied by Racists.' I imagine a lot of places could get a similar label worldwide, depending on the perspective of the author...

      Delete
  10. OH MY gosh, this is the best thing I've seen all day! Those terrorist squirrels will be the end of humanity, I just know it. And I don't know how they managed it, but the gas masks are adorable. I've never used that adjective to describe a tool of warcraft before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet if more tools of war were equipped with adorable anthropomorphic features, there would be less fighting and more "awww"-ing and cuddling.

      Delete
  11. Oh no no no.. for kids? I don't know which was the most disturbing, insane robot or dictator baby. Scary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a terrifying combination--and when their powers combine, I am pretty sure it is the end of the world.

      Delete
  12. So as I try and figure out which grade school to send my kid to I guess I should asking each one how they will be preparing him for war before I decide.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These are important questions. Do you want one with more focus on strategy and tactics, or increased intensity of physical training and horsemanship? Dilemma.

      Delete
  13. OMG that was awesome. day. madee.

    ReplyDelete