So, uh…I kind of let this series die. Much like Marie let her
husband die hours after her coronation.
But now I am coming at it with the Defibrillator of Derision, to
resuscitate the wonder that is the hubris of Marie de’ Medici. For the earlier
installments, see here.
So, the last time we checked in with the
Queen of Hearts (Which May or May Not Be Stabbed), she had just taken the reins
from her suddenly deceased husband.
Eagles shot lightning, snakes breathed fire, and bare-bosomed
personifications of France frolicked.
The next painting, “Council of the Gods,”
does not actually feature Marie.
Although with a title like that, doubtless Marie would have thought she
fit right in.
Instead, it focuses on the Greek gods,
lounging around and chatting in various states of undress. I think more councils should take this
policy. I mean, they tell you in public
speaking to envision everyone in the audience naked – imagine how much more
confidence everyone would have if it were true!
The exception to the happy lounging theme
here is over on the right, with these miserable-looking fellows being run out
of town.
According to the oracle that is Wikipedia,
these represent “vices such as Discord, Hate, Fury, and Envy” who are being "overcome" by Apollo and Pallas. Frankly, I don’t know why they look so afraid
of their attackers. After all, they are armed
with torches and snakes, which seem like they would be far more effective at
such short range than their assailants’ weapons.
Apollo comes at them with a bow, looking
more like he’s offering it to them than attacking them. I must observe that for the god of the sun,
he is EXTREMELY pale. I guess in his
line of work he uses SPF 1,000,000?
Also, at first glance I thought that Pallas’ weapon of
choice here was a wildly brandished mop.
Meanwhile, Venus tries to distract Mars
with the promise of sexytime with the goddess of love and beauty, but we can
all see to which glowing, nude figure Mars’ gaze is drawn.
So yeah, this one is considered “one
of the least understood” paintings in the Marie de’ Medici cycle,
presumably because it does not feature Marie de’ Medici.
This flaw is fixed in the next
painting.
In “The Regent Militant: The Victory at
Jülich,” there is no doubt left to the imagination as to who is the most
important person in the universe. She’s
all like, “I am the QUEEN of FRANCE, bitches.”
Unfortunately she is mistaken in her choice
of terminology, because of course that is not a female dog in her entourage,
but rather a male lion. And frankly, I
am far more impressed by the somewhat demure lady patting the lion than I am by
the queen on her horse. If there is one
thing we have learned from art, it is that being saddled up will not protect
you from an attack
of big cats.
The last detail I’ll observe here is this
guy, playing a horn:
The Wikipedia description says that “Fame in the
right side of the painting pushes air through the trumpet so powerfully that a
burst of smoke comes out.” I take
this to mean that her fame, like most, was primarily blowing smoke.
All images found here.
That's the smallest lion with a mane I've even seen. I suppose these artists were too busy to go to Africa and copied the etchings on the wall of a Roman amphitheatre. Why does Mars need to wear a suit of armour when everyone else is half naked? I think he might have had a slight inferiority complex.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the lady is 12 feet tall? And I think Mars always wants to be prepared for potential spearings.
DeletePoor nudists being driven from the town just because they like the fresh air on their dingle dangles. And yeah, the lady with the lion as a pet is way more impressive than riding a horse...although, she is staying up on that horse with an oversized ridiculous headdress.
ReplyDeletePhysical balance is very important for a ruler. Mental balance, apparently less so.
Delete"It's good to be the Queen. Now, who said that?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Mel Brooks would approve, anyway.
DeleteI'm impressed.
Delete