Saturday 13 December 2014

All the Little Children



Christmas is creeping ever closer.  As is Hanukkah.  And possibly Kwanzaa.  Heck, the grocery store is stocking Valentine’s Day goods.  The point is, whatever tradition floats your boat, odds are this time of year is for celebration! 

But you know who enjoys the season the most?  Children.  Primarily because they get lots of loot.  This week we look at the children of the Buderus family.
 
 Die Kinder der Familie Buderus (Source)

This was apparently on the cover of a book of German Christmas stories.  Such happy youth, frolicking with their new toys! 


Well, I’m not sure if that’s joyous frolicking so much as trying to kill her sister with her eyes.  There is NO WAY Helga is getting her dirty hands all over Gudrun’s new doll.


To be fair, Helga seems quite able to hold her own in a staring contest.  Her eyes are like a soul vacuum.  No one has looked directly into her gaze and remained sane.

Case in point: young Gunther. 


Once he was the brightest star in kindergarten.  Then he crossed his sister over the last sweetie.  Now he thinks he is a dachshund.

Side note: is that some kind of whip or crop lying around on the ground?  That might provide further explanation of the personality disorders which I am making up as I go along here.

Possible bondage equipment aside, these are the actual toys under the tree.


A faceless arm points from above, directing a giant clownish man with a face straight out of nightmares to go Godzilla on a peaceful toy village.  Wooden soldiers march to their doom before the puppet menace, bodies littering the ground.  While this is the kind of scene I would definitely set up under my own tree, I would not entirely expect it from two young girls and the host of an alien brain parasite.  But maybe this is a traditional scene from a typical happy German family.  Looking at Helga again, it's actually not very surprising at all.  Frohe Weihnachten!

10 comments:

  1. These girls are very disturbing. Helga does not have the eyes of a virgin. Let's hope she is just a good mimic. The boy looks more innocent, but I still want to slap his forehead.

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    1. I don't know what is in the girls' eyes, I just don't want them looking at me...
      I think that poor boy has a very hard life ahead of him. If he survives his family.

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  2. I immediate saw (and tried to unsee - can't, thanks for that) the crazed puppet, but it might be the wrapped mummy to his upper right that will haunt my dreams later tonight.

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    1. Nothing says Christmas like decoratively wrapped hanging corpses!

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  3. Traditions sink my boat but I'm wearing a vet, so there's no need to panic. The grocery store is stocking Valentine’s Day goods... really? He may need to reajust his time machine.

    Kids scare me. Now I know why.

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    1. Kids are terrifying! Most of them start screaming as soon as I walk into a room - I assume it's because they can sense I am on to them.

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  4. I think Helga knows Gudrun is on the other side of the curtain. (Her face says: "She's till there, right?") Maybe she plans to drop kick Gudrun. Gunther is one drool away from oblivion - true. If he cracked that metal(?) whip too much he might have injured himself.
    What a freakishly morbid painting. I searched for the funny - but someone has sucked it all out.
    On a positive note, the gold ball hanging in mid-air is nice. (meh)

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    1. I would not be surprised if a drop kick were in store for Gudrun. She's putting herself out there for it, and Helga does not look like one to mess around.

      Fun at Christmas is MANDATORY. All who disagree will be flogged until they enjoy themselves.

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  5. So much wrong. Of course this is the cover of a German story book. When you have a romance language like German, it's only natural that their books would be wrapped in a nightmare scape of demon children and possessed toys. Glad I didn't see this right before bed.

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    1. Nothing is sweeter than the cherubic faces of children coming right up to yours, and then shrieking "ICH LIEBE DICH!!!"

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