Monday 18 February 2013

Poke the Wound of Christ


I was watching Bill Bailey last week, and came across this bit where he basically steals my job here and talks about paintings of Doubting Thomas.  This is a popular vignette taken from the Gospel of John, where Jesus returns from the grave and all the disciples seem him but Thomas.  So they tell him, “Hey Tom, Jesus totally came back from the dead,” and he’s all like, “Yeah whatever guys, I’ll believe it when I literally stick my hand in his still-gaping wounds,” and then Jesus appears again and goes “You asked for it,” and wound-poking commences.

This week I’ll do a quick review of a Thomas Poking Jesus painting, and let you watch the video for a broader overview of the genre (with Greek subtitles, for all my Greek readers...although in this case Koine might have been more appropriate).  This particular one is by 17th century Dutch painter Hendrick ter Brugghen.


First, here is Jesus forcing Thomas’ finger into the wound in his side.  Early diagnostic imaging at its best!


This is fairly unpleasant business.  Understandably, some of the audience is looking away, presumably at some passing birds, or maybe some happy butterflies.


However, one person is looking on with interest. 


This creepy old man is going, “Hmm, penetration of gaping flesh wounds…how fascinating.  Now, just a little to the left…”

For me, perhaps the creepiest part of this image is Jesus himself, pushing someone else’s finger into his ribcage, slightly lumpy face balanced between patience and irritation. 


I saw this and thought, “Oh no!  Mentally unbalanced Smeagol is about to strangle that man!”

You touched the Precious...body of Christ...
 That would be one way to ensure Thomas doubted no more.

20 comments:

  1. Why can I hear a Glaswegian accent saying "Och, yer gonnae need stutches in that an nay mistake. Ye cannae go tay the hospital fer they'll tell the poh-liss an wi'yer record ye'll gan doon fer yearsh."

    [Apologies to anyone from Glasgow who can read. this.]

    [In fact, my apologies to everyone.]

    On a more technical note I love the way that Jésus has thinning hair and a face that looks like a walrus's backside.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that I have envisioned the scene in Glaswegian, I can't un-imagine it. Along with the campaign slogan, "Choose life. Not nails in your extremities and a lance in the ribs."

      Delete
  2. I love the smarmy ugly face they give Thomas. Because he was such a weasel to doubt the man before him was the same one he saw brutally executed and buried and now asks for proof. How dare he.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, right? At least he didn't pretend not to know the guy when things got tough, unlike SOME disciples...

      Delete
  3. To be fair to Jesus, his hand may have been restraining Thomas from poking his finger in too far. Anyone that doubtful might not have been satisfied until he felt liver and onions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An excellent point. Although I would think instead of the side wound, the stigmata might have been good places to probe. Poke his finger straight through.

      Delete
  4. Ha! "Early diagnostic imaging," well done. Thomas looks like that's the closest he'd ever come to poking a gaping wound if you know what I mean. If you don't, I meant that Thomas is a virgin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Hey baby, have you recently been mortally injured? 'Cause I'd like to probe your gaping wound" may be the worst chat up line ever conceived.

      Delete
  5. That scene has an icky sensuality to it. Makes me wonder if the artist is really an atheist and poking fun at his religious-minded patron

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would think so, but there seem to be several fairly visceral paintings on this theme! It's like classical artists were like, "You know what would be good to practice our realism skills on? Prodding open wounds with an audience."

      Delete
  6. So when someone pokes me on Facebook this is what they're really trying to do?!?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Little did you realize that Facebook is a den of masochists. Or maybe you did realize it...

      Delete
  7. This is, indeed, art appreciation at it's finest.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, ick ick ick! One of the more graphic portrayals of this moment...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are a few of them. Lest ye doubt the discomfort that probably surrounded this moment!

      Delete
  9. I always think of R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion video and then I think "yucky." I would probably just ask Jesus about some inside joke only he and I had.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this is an "inside" joke, but not the funny kind.

      Delete
  10. A little to the left. I like that. Nothing beats a bit of flesh poking... o wait... I didn't just say that. I meant gaping wound flesh poking extravaganza. I blame this on my fever. Just so you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the clarification. Gaping wound flesh poking extravaganzas are much more PC.

      Delete