This week, not one, but two people sent me images for this
blog. It made me happy that some people
think of me when they see art. Then I
realized this means that people see drawings of semi-nude women and butt jokes
and think “Oh yeah, that’ll be up her alley.”
But I digress.
This week we look at depictions of St. Bernard’s vision of
Mary. I was unaware of this story, but
having now looked into it apparently it was quite a popular vignette in
paintings. The story goes that St.
Bernard was praying before a statue of the Virgin Mary, and he asked her to
“show herself to be a mother.” The
statue then came to life, gave the breasticle a bit of a squeeze, and shot
virgin-milk directly into his mouth.
Apparently this was supposed to represent either the gift of life, or
the “wisdom of God.”
So without further ado, here is the painting that got the
ball rolling here. I can’t find the
artist, but “La Vision de San Bernardo de Claraval” appears at the Museo
Palacio Arzobispal de Lima.
Looks like your typical man holding a Roman torture
implement to kneel before a woman surrounded by winged and un-winged
babies. But upon closer inspection…
Really she’s got pretty good range. Baby Jesus is standing there going, “Well, I
guess I can share. It’s better direct
from the source, though.”
Sometimes Mary’s aim is less good (or precise).
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Although that’s probably what I would do if someone asked me
to prove myself a mother by breastfeeding them. In your EYE, disbeliever!
Of course, there are simpler ways of getting at those who
question you. Here Bernard looks like
he might be in the middle of a stroke and about to drown in a stream of fresh
milk.
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Sometimes the scene doesn’t show the milk-bestowal proper,
instead showing him trying to persuade Mary to just let him have a bit of her
sweet, sweet baby food.
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Here there’s the bonus of baby angels everywhere,
including Mary standing on baby angel heads.
Then there’s this one, where he’s not so much ready for a
drink, as he looks like he might burn a hole in her breast with his Intense
Stare.
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I’m not so sure it’s “proof of motherhood” he’s looking for
there….
I leave you with perhaps the most famous image, by Alonzo
Cano.
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Oh my god I love you. Who ARE you???
ReplyDeleteThanks very much. I am just your friendly neighborhood art critic, weird story enthusiast, and smart aleck.
DeleteI wonder why Mary thought it was necessary for the monk to taste the milk. Squirting it into a glass would have been ample proof for me. I've got a feeling Bernard's request was rather different from what he claimed...
ReplyDeleteMaybe he suspected her of rigging an elaborate implanted pump to produce a substance that looked like milk, so he had to taste it to be assured it was actual milk and not formula?
DeleteRemind me to never get in a super-soaker fight with the Virgin Mary.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I heard the kids stopped letting her play with them on hot summer days.
DeleteWow, who knew they were all so kinky back then!
ReplyDeleteI know! I feel like they leave a lot of this out of religion classes these days.
DeleteQuite clearly a lactating mother, bored shitless with the prudish, exercising her right to feed her child in public and defending her contention that Mother's milk beats Formula any day.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside, did you know that in UK, by Law, a Policeman has to allow a pregnant woman to urinate in his helmet in public in an emergency?
ReplyDeleteI am amazed the anarchists, usually mothers of multiple children, invariably pregnant and living off benefits, haven't cottoned on to this. Or maybe they have and that's why we don't see Bobbies on the High Street anymore.
I must confess I was unaware of this law. But I definitely think more women should take advantage of it.
DeleteTwo things.. ONE just realized I lost notifications of posts to you because the service I used to send things by email went out of business. I don't suppose you'd consider adding the sign up by email widget to your site? http://weblogs.about.com/b/2011/03/17/blogger-launches-follow-by-email-gadget.htm
ReplyDeleteTwo - Just realized I wasn't following you on Twitter - corrected!
Done. You can now be informed of inappropriate artwork commentary straight to your inbox!
DeleteAnd thanks for the Twitterization! Now I just need to actually use it sometimes...
I bet these paintings need extra security because my first thought was that it would be funny to paint a coffee mug on there so it looks like she's adding the milk to it.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a challenge for my next visit to an art museum.
Delete...shot virgin-milk directly into his mouth? Dear Lord. (Amen) Well, it is an original idea. Virgin-milk into a guy's mouth.... I wonder what they'll think of next. All of a sudden my artful sex booth camp for women reminds me of Little House on the Prairie. Thanks for that.But you've got my undivided attention, so it's alright. You're right... sometimes her aim is less precise. She kind of hits him in the eye. Would you say that this is some kind of revenge in the name of all women? Strike that.
ReplyDeleteThe Virgin Mary is a sort of female revenge by her nature. She's usually depicted as being beautiful, but it's generally accepted that to lust after her is a no-no, guys. You don't want to encounter her Baby Daddy when he's feeling jealous.
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