St. Anthony and the Funnel of Doom

Well, it’s been at least a couple weeks since we last explored artists’ efforts to tempt St. Anthony in the most bizarre ways possible.  This week’s offering was sent to me by the lovely person behind the pocket scroll, who gives it an insightful analysis in terms of spiritual temptation.  In contrast, I will give it an insightful analysis in terms of frog ships and funnel butts (TM – thanks Jen!).

First off: the National Gallery of Canada says that this work is attributed to Hieronymus Bosch, whose fantastic brain-spawn are a semi-regular feature around here.  However, I tried to find a higher-quality image or more information for it, and no matter the search string, this image didn’t come up in any internet searches for Bosch and the Temptation of St. Anthony.  Pro Tip: after several failed attempts, don’t try the keywords “funnel butt temptation” unless you like to feel your last shreds of innocence dissolving.

So anyway, here is the picture:

Mmm, nothing like a good dark, dystopian landscape for temptation.  Even the naked lady in the water looks a bit like a cross between Venus and a bearded man.  St Anthony in the center doesn’t look like he’s paying much attention, though.  This may be due to mind control rays being emitted by this satellite dish held by a stone gnome.

Meanwhile, in the background, a house is being demolished.  This is being accomplished by an army of lizards storming the walls.  

The one in the middle kind of looks like a land-going Manta Ray.  A Manta Ray conducting heavy artillery.  I would not mess.

South of the invading army there is a frog being used as a sailboat.  I guess it would be more like windsurfing than sailing.  Windfrogging?  I wonder what kind of distance you might get off of a frog leap backed with wind power?  

A single bound, and St Anthony’s unsuspecting attention is going to be torn from the Prince of Peace to the Frog Prince.

Other characters include this thing.  It appears to be the lower half of a fat lizard with a dude’s face poking out of its stomach.  

I mean, I’ve heard of navel gazing, but this is taking it a bit far.  He is also wearing a hat that features an emaciated armless imp doing a headstand.

Then there is the winged jewelry box with legs.  I think it may also be smirking.

This little guy is finally coming out of his shell.  No, literally.  Not equipped with a purpose-built beak, he has chipped his way out with his innate archery skills.   

But what poor creature is he aiming at now?

Oh.  A naked man with his head in a sack, a jar on his foot, and a funnel in his butt releasing butt-crows on an unsuspecting world. 

On second thought, you go get ‘im, hatchling archery demon!