DC Art: Commemorating Military Instruction (And Bird Molestation)

One day, I was walking by Lafayette Square near the White House.  There were a number of statues scattered around.  Statues are fairly ubiquitous in the area, usually featuring slightly pompous, noble-looking men, sometimes with naked ladies and/or eagles.  So I didn’t pay them much mind as I strolled, until I glanced up and realized these particular statues offered so much more.

Like this one.  “Commemoration,” it says.  It raises a number of questions.  Commemoration of what?  The time that dude with the flowing locks and bulging pecs engaged in bondage play with the young, nubile pool boy under the trees?  Is that a man?  Or is it a woman with a steroid problem? 

Here we have a badass lady, who is clothed for once.  She is accompanied by an eagle who is clearly trying to cop a feel.  However, this is one bird who knows how to handle her birds, as she says, “Touch my ass ONE MORE TIME and I will liberate your head from your neck.”

Finally, this was the one that first caught my eye.  Unfortunately it also had the worst lighting, but you get the idea.

Now, I have never been in the military, but I confess that I had a slightly different mental image of what Military Instruction entails.  This seems to be a man saying, “All right, boy.  Take all your clothes off and get over here, so I can show you how to handle your sword.” 

I imagine the sculptor had submitted this design as a sarcastic joke, and then someone in the commissioning committee was like, “YES!  This is exactly how to encapsulate the raw intimacy of teaching military skill, and the rush of learning to thrust your weapon into another man!”  And thus art was made.