In a historic vote this week, either Scotland tried and failed to gain independence, or Scottish nationalists tried and failed to break up a venerable union. Depends on your perspective. In any case, the United Kingdom remains united, so on this occasion I present a representation of British determination in the past.
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The
Battle of Alexandria, 21 March 1801 – Philip James
de Loutherbourg, 1802 (Source)
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So according to my diligent Wikipedia
research, on March 21, 1801 the British fought the French while en route to
Alexandria. As I am sure you would never
have guessed from the painting title.
But I am not a historian. I just look at pictures and make snide
comments. So let the snideness commence.
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| Fun fact: Scotsmen get a tassel on their sporran for every pub brawl they win. |
Here is a Scottish soldier, pointing as if
to say, “Should we no be goin’ intae that battle now?”
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| Leg injury, or latest European Leg Scarf fashion? |
The commander, however, is injured, and looks
either too drunk or too lethargic to make a move. Mr. Sassy behind him is not about to endorse
any plan that might get blood splatters all over his good red coat. The guy
with the spyglass is like, “Hmm…by jove, he’s right! There IS a battle going on!”
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| The Bobbsey Triplets are distinctly unimpressed. |
There is further dissention within the ranks. These men angrily say, “This man is not to be
trusted! He is both ginger and wearing a
skirt!”
Of course, it was a terrifying event, and
not everyone was smug. Some of them
would rather nuzzle a horse’s bum than join the fray.
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| “I say, shall we sally forth?” “Quite so, sir!” |
This is not to say that no one is keen to
go fight. These two are riding out with
all the gusto of gentlemen heading to the hunt.
The biggest question remains, however:
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| Uhh…guys? |
Why is everyone in this little pow-wow
ignoring the man spasming on the ground on top of a crate like three feet
away? I mean, I understand that it’s a
battle and there are dead people everywhere, but he seems to be flailing around
as if to say, “Hello! I’m still alive
here!” Or maybe he’s not injured, and he
just tripped and fell while carrying the supplies?
In conclusion, throughout history there
have always been things that bring people together to work for a common
cause. Sometimes it is economic
stability, and sometimes it is beating up the French.
The Scottish soldier must saying "Would you like me to kill the French soldier approaching you, Sir?" They lost their initiative after joining the British army. Do you think he's wearing knickers below his kilt?
ReplyDeleteNot Wearing Knickers was one of the key weapons in the arsenal of Scottish soldiers. If they got in a pickle they could just flip some fabric and their opponent would be temporarily blinded.
DeleteI think the guy lounging in the chair is cursing the new "skinny leg" jean trend and lack of room in the crotch.
ReplyDeletePlus side, they double as a tourniquet to staunch leg bleeding.
DeleteThe general dude and his friends seem to be a bit "sassy". Look at that hand backwards on top-hat guy's hip like, "nuh uh, girl, I just got these chaps polished, I am not going to get them all mussed up in that nonsense, now bring me a strawberry daiquiri." And is that other guy doing coke off the horse's booty? Why else would he need to be all up in it? He's like an ancient Brony.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that Bronies were known for doing coke off of their beloved ponies butts, but I guess that would explain a lot, actually.
DeleteLol. A little scary but true.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the brief history lesson. I love how you did it through art.
Thank you! History is often a little scary in how it tries to repeat itself...
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