This week we have something a little different. In the Lafayette College Libraries’ East
Asian digital collection, there are images from a set of 48 “Japanese History
Study Cards” from 1935. Aiming to “make
entrance examination preparation truly fun,” it was supposed to teach
elementary school children phrases about Japanese national history. Of course, Japan was gearing
up for Super Fun War Times, so all the cards are related to “soldiering and martial
values.” And thus you get some bizarre
blending of children’s drawings and implied brutality.
Some of my favorites:
"The bomb-dropping flying
corps."
See?
Dropping bombs is a friendly activity.
The little green pellets of friendship rain down from a happy little
bluebird. Well, maybe happy is the
wrong word. Those eyes kind of suggest
“mind control technology.”
"The Yell that Accompanies a
Bayonet Thrust."
You should always keep your mouth wide
open while bayoneting someone, the better to catch the spray of blood and gore
and consume your enemy’s power.
"Octopus-shaped gas mask"
Poison gas attacks are adorable.
"In the blink of an eye, it takes
only a single blow."
What is this soldier striking down in a
single blow? Is it a beaver? A giant squirrel? I did not realize these things were major national security
threats in Japan.
"Heave-Ho! The artillery squad
pushes the gun carriage."
A naked baby leads a rabbit, a masked monkey
and a bear in a cannon charge. Note
that both the rabbit and the monkey are more clothed than the commanding
baby. I am not sure that promoting
infants to commanding positions is a wise tactical strategy, but then giving a
cannon to a bear is also questionable.
"The Robotic Soldier Works
Splendidly."
Holy crap, Japan had robot soldiers
in WWII? And they were evil robot
soldiers, from the look of things. How
did they not win? Also, I suppose those
are supposed to be bullets hitting it, but they look kind of like angry cotton
spiders.
The Japanese method of dealing with gas attacks seems to be chopping off the soldier's head and replacing it with a tombstone. I suppose that might save the bother of burying the fellow.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's quicker than death by gas, too. Although preparing the tombstone must take some time.
DeleteYou had me at the beaver/giant squirrel, but combined with both naked babies and killer robots... You are by far the best sarcastic art review blog out there!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the smiles I desperately needed today.
Aww, thanks very much! Of course, with the naked baby in a position of command, it probably has control over the killer robot, which is perhaps even more terrifying...
DeleteI strive to present the cutting edge in bizarre old pictures out of context. I'm glad it brings some smiles!
Quite frankly, any nation that thinks raw fish is a treat to eat and that elementary school brats should be taught the finer points of war has got to have suspect foundations. How come the tin headgear looks so, well, so ... Bavarian?
ReplyDeleteIn my family we were never taught the bayonet charge until we were on solid foods and had to compete at table with the rest of the family and the hangers-on.
To be fair, if modern-day youngsters were taught military strategy and how to deal with tactical murder, teen movies might be a lot more entertaining.
DeleteSir Owl. Bavarian! The Pickelhaube was most definitely Prussian.
DeleteI quite like raw fish, by the way.
Interesting point Minheer Ninja makes. Perhaps the MOD should bin all their sophisticated communications and switch to Twitter instead. It would certainly cut down on mobilization times and costs.
I love these. That soldier that cut down the beaver-squirrel looks really unsure of himself.
ReplyDeleteWell, we can't see the creature's face--it might have 3-foot long poisonous fangs.
DeleteAlso, I just noticed some of your comments have been going to the spam folder--sorry about that. I caught it this time, and will be on the lookout in the future!
I feel like a mouthful of blood and gore is more likely to give you hepatitis than their power....
ReplyDeleteI suppose it depends how you are defining your enemy's "power"...
DeleteThere is something incredibly creepy about a cupie doll leading a battle!
ReplyDeleteI can't argue with that. But in that sense it might be an effective strategy for unnerving the other side!
DeleteLet's be real. The fourt pictures is a collection of dick jokes that would make the late great George Carlin proud.
ReplyDeleteI just found this place. It's hilarious. I'll be back with snacks.
All the best children's books are thinly veiled sexual references. I mean, Green Eggs and Ham? Come on.
DeleteI'm glad you found me! I recommend popcorn and Raisinets.
This is amazing and great and beautiful and weird and disturbing and uniquely awesome. But highly irresponsible of you. I mean, don't legions of children read this blog? If I were younger, I'd be itching to wage war on something right now. Probably gigantic squirrel/beaver things.
ReplyDeleteAs an educational blog, it is assigned reading for many school-age children. However, I hope that this piece has served more as a warning to them about the dangers of going near weaponry, such as the increased likelihood of encountering bears, giant squirrels, and other dangerous beasts.
DeleteJoking aside, I arrived in Angola eighteen years ago and four years later, I had a son. Well, I didn't, my wife did. Four years after that he went to school so I had to go to the Ministry of Education's official outlet and buy his official books one of which was a rather thin Atlas of the world. South Africa was shown in grey and marked as 'Territory Illegally Occupied by Racists', and all references to space travel (there were three pages dedicated to the solar system) confined themselves to sputniks, Gagarin and Soyuz rockets, no mention of a moon landing programme succesfully concluded by imperialist capitalist warmongers led by an ex Nazi.
ReplyDeleteThe history books were brilliant reading.
History books are often amazingly entertaining for all the wrong reasons! I like the 'Territory Illegally Occupied by Racists.' I imagine a lot of places could get a similar label worldwide, depending on the perspective of the author...
DeleteOH MY gosh, this is the best thing I've seen all day! Those terrorist squirrels will be the end of humanity, I just know it. And I don't know how they managed it, but the gas masks are adorable. I've never used that adjective to describe a tool of warcraft before.
ReplyDeleteI bet if more tools of war were equipped with adorable anthropomorphic features, there would be less fighting and more "awww"-ing and cuddling.
DeleteOh no no no.. for kids? I don't know which was the most disturbing, insane robot or dictator baby. Scary!
ReplyDeleteIt is a terrifying combination--and when their powers combine, I am pretty sure it is the end of the world.
DeleteSo as I try and figure out which grade school to send my kid to I guess I should asking each one how they will be preparing him for war before I decide.
ReplyDeleteThese are important questions. Do you want one with more focus on strategy and tactics, or increased intensity of physical training and horsemanship? Dilemma.
DeleteOMG that was awesome. day. madee.
ReplyDelete